Well it's that time of year. Halloween. The time of year I think back and am VERY grateful for the family that adopted me. It's been a difficult struggle these past few months, opening places inside of me that I didn't know existed. Am I a better person? Have I grown? Does it still hurt? YES
But none of this negates the fact that I grew up in a loving home. Sure we were (are) as dis-functional as the rest of you. People still struggle to figure out our family dynamics. As a family we are close, yet we don't "have" to see each other all the time, or for that matter we go months without a call or visit. But my brothers are great and I love to pieces my mom.
We have struggled through the illness and ultimate death of my dad 30 yrs ago. We had battle with substance abuse in different ways. Struggles with a behavior problem and a subsequent "placement" for the welfare of my brother and my parents. Broken marriages and more death. And now the struggle with an ailing mother with memory issues (which are not Alzheimer or dementia, a mystery cause which can not me treated). But as this "family" we move through it and survive.
So It's Halloween, the anniversary of my adoption. I'll call mom and tell her thanks. I'll probably work that day, and I'll say a prayer to God thanking him for both my moms. The one who raised me and the one who chose to give me life and give me a life.
I'll also pray that some day soon I'll know the truth of the events some 47 yrs ago. Who my family was? and why? But I have realized that who they were does not make me who I am today. and with or without the information, I am still Patricia Ann Kettles Newman! I have a great life (still filled with struggles) and a great family.
Have you taken time lately to be thankful for your family, even if it was a dis-functional one. Have you taken time to look at the events of your life and seen the work that was done to make you , you? Have you smiled today?
There are no new developments in my story... and guess what there may never be.... is that okay? Well it has to be. It's COMPLETELY out of my control. So this week I thank God and I live.
