For those who know me, you know how deeply I love the people in my life. It has been said that nothing can separate you from the love of God and Miss Pattie. SO if I love you, you got it forever. I also have heaps and heaps of love to share with those in my life (and yes I know it sometimes comes in many ways including a "butt kicking" or sarcasm and ginormous hugs). With Valentine's Day a few days away, I thought it would be a good time to describe God's kind of love that I've been living lately.
I know that I have a birth family out there and I know where they live (not to sound stalking or anything). Sometimes when I'm alone and quiet I run through my head different scenarios of how a reunion may take place, what I might say, act, behave, etc.. I also would click on certain fb pages to see what they were doing. Recently I discovered that this was not really healthy for me and would sometimes make me lose sleep and kind of just bring me to that dark place of questions and rejection.
I needed to do something new.
God directed me to change my behavior. When the ideas to "dream" and the urges to "click"would come I needed to do something else. I started to pray. To pray for them to know God's goodness, to pray for blessings, to pray for protection, to pray for health, to pray for them to sense God in their life, to know that God love's them.
As I started doing this, I felt peace and my love for them grew. As I did this, God started reveal something about Him to me. These women have never met me. Two of them don't even know that I exist.... (see where I'm going yet) I have a &^$%#$@ load of love to give to these women but they don't know I'm here.
God loves you, He wants to have a relationship with you. He wants good things in your life. He has so much love to give you. You may not know him.
God is showing me how He loves. And how to love more like Him.
Will this lead to reunion??? Who knows??? I don't need to know. I want so very much for them to find me, meet me, know me. That may never happen but that isn't changing the love that is in my heart for them. Just like our Father's love.
Happy Valentine's Day.
