Well, of course I have to keep on looking, but I'm beginning to believe that the information I was given was all wrong. I stared to look at the people I was told were my family and some things seemed funny. Having the same name as my mom... ok I get that.. but her being a church secretary ....hmm so am I (it says so on my facebook page. My brother being a high school teacher at a Christian school..... so was I ...(says so on my facebook page). My brother being the youth leader at his church..... so am I (says so on my facebook page). A brother named Daniel with red hair.. I have a son named Dan with red hair.... (yup it's on my facebook page). I was a psych major in college and I've always wondered about the nature / nurture debate, but this seemed almost ridiculous.
I need to know the truth.
Looking for the friend who connected us revealed some interesting things (you don't need to know). but made me more suspicious of that night. This was beginning to look like some cruel "prank". I now wonder if I had done something to her in my younger years (I've known her for a good part of my life). If this was my family why haven't they tried to contact me again. Where else should I look?
I was born in New York so I set my sights to Albany. I was ready to hop into the car and drive there and demand my records... yeah I didn't. I (of course) went on line (http://www.health.state.ny.us/vital_records/adoption.htm ) and found the dept of records site and printed out the form. I filled it out and notarized it and sent it to Albany. I now am waiting for "non identifying information". Lilly had said that they had requested my information in Albany but since it's the adoptee that has the rights, they had to wait for me to request my records. If the Clarkes are my family... I should have information by Christmas. Really that long? Well apparently it take 6+ months for a person to walk to the file room and pull out the file on the girl born in Hempstead NY on June 22 1963... really!! Oh patience is such a fun thing.
Is there more I could do???? heck yeah! I contacted a tv program that reunites people. I contacted them twice, the first time when I was just looking for the Clarkes and again just 2 days ago with all my suspicions. I am waiting to hear back. I've also registered with the official adoption reunion organization Soundex, including their facebook page.
I also discovered a thing called search angels. They are people who will do searches for you for free (I know, I've been down that road before, but there is no malice in a person who I have never met who just wants to see people together).
So what now? I wait!
SO for the reader, what is the lesson here. Many people run looking for a missing part of their life. You are told things that seem true, and seem to be too good to be true. But once you look deeper, you see the holes in it. If you are reading this and have been looking for something to "complete" your life...and haven't found it yet, Look up!. Look to God. He is the way , the truth , and the light. I'm looking for the truth of my family, I may not rest until I find .. not them.. but the truth. If you are missing something.. don't rest until you find it. go to the right places. To the Bible, to a church, to prayer. Don't just go to a friend who tells you something and just believe it, dig deeper, seek further, and don't rest until you find it. It will be worth it,. I can face this because I know Jeremiah 29:11 which says:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
So I can trust in that truth and it gives me the freedom to know that He is in control and when the time comes.. all will be revealed. and if not.. it's because He has a better plan for me. But the lessons I've learned so for are more valuable then meeting my "family" . I hope these blogs may encourage some of you. That they may make a difference in your walk, life.
I'm not sure if I will continue with this until I have more information... or have learned my lessons. Be blessed!
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