I've been asked a few questions... Why?

As I have shared my experience with you all, many of you have asked me some things and many of you have been afraid to ask... so here are some answers to the questions

Why are you doing this?
    Well I have to, there is something inside of me that has driven me to do this search and to meet her. I am not looking to hurt myself, I'm driven, there is a "hole" or missing piece inside. I went to her house hoping for a good result and knowing I could have the result I had... but I didn't go there to be hurt... but to try to fill this hole.

What do I think will change if I meet her?
      Nothing, I'm not doing this to change me,  to change my life, to change the world. I just am driven to do this.

Here's the thing.... I was talking to someone today and finally figured out where this drive was coming from. You see I've realized what is driving me...

I need to know that she's okay.... that she is healing from the "hurt" in her life. God has placed in my a heart that has compassion for others, one that wants to help the hurting, to bring joy and healing. I've have prayed for this woman most of my life, I have asked God to reveal Himself to her, to place people in her life to show her His love for her.  I need to know if He has reached her. I need to know if she has found peace.

Can you all understand this? Yes the rejection hurts like hell. I've never hurt this much.  But is my pain worth it... I hope so, I hope she may even see my persistence as an example of God's love for her..

Maybe one of you is reading this and God has been reaching out to you and you've rejected He love. The pain I have felt from this rejection is nothing in comparison to the pain of the cross and the rejection. Think about it... He may have been seeking for you, searching, reaching out and you haven't responded..... don't wait.  Answer He call, respond to the love he has waiting to flood your life. You see, scripture talks about our adoption, into His family. He want's you to come to Him.

God is still reaching out to me, I opened fb this morning and the first thing I saw was this:

For some one today. !"God is about to take you where you could not go on your own. Where you are today is no accident. God is using the situation you are in right now, to shape you and prepare you for wants to bring you into. "Trust Him with His plan even if you don't understand.

So thanks for listening, praying, talking, caring and reading this. I do have to say that the pain is not as intense as it was yesterday, or the day before. I'm learning more and more about myself  and my Savior. I'm also learning who I can trust, and unfortunately who I can't.  Don't worry I still love you... I'm persist that way.

Blessing everyone.... by the way, feel free to share my story.  Hope it can help others.